Last year was a year of big smiles and buckets of tears, hard work and luxurious relaxation, never sitting down and sleeping all day, huge gratitude and what the f*** moments, insurmountable love and loving because it’s who I am. Alongside my compassionate and loving husband (and army of white pups), I have never felt more at home. Together, Patrick and I have experienced the challenges of slowing down, letting go of the little things, and discovering our unique role in one another's lives. In writing our own vows, we unlocked the most vulnerable pieces of ourselves and promised to love each other unconditionally always and forever. Over the past seven months, I’ve come to understand the difference between marriage and dating, and it’s a bond I hope everyone experiences some day. In our bathroom we hung the “Art of Marriage,” by Wilfred Arlan Peterson and each night when I hop into my essential oil filled bathtub I reread the poem and remind myself that the art of marriage is not only about marrying the right person, it is being the right partner.
So this year my resolutions are about bettering myself as a partner; rather, than the normal check the boxes kind of resolutions
Patience with myself, patience with my husband, patience with the world
Focus in the moment, focus on my feelings and reactions, focus on our marriage
Appreciate and express appreciation of the little things that bring me enjoyment; after all, I’ve learned gratitude unexpressed may be interpreted as ingratitude (Andy Stanley, I Owe Who)
Self-study (sanskrit: svadyaya), study the bible, study yoga, be a student of life
Learn from those who inspire me, learn from difficult people, learn from my partner, our daughter, and friends
Listen to my gut feelings, listen to my partner, listen to understand
Better myself as a partner, better myself as a mother, better myself as a leader
Rest soundly, rejuvenate intentionally, snuggle adoringly
The Art Of A Good Marriage
by Wilferd Arlan Peterson
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.