Mommy Guilt, according to urban dictionary, is time a mother takes to do something for herself that does not involve her children. When Channing came along my world shifted instantaneously and my previous concentration with our yoga studio, staff, and day-to- day operation dissipated. Have you ever experienced fight or flight feelings that send you in a tailspin? The kind of urgency a town evacuation might instill? The drop everything and go when your sister needs you response? On January 19, 2018 sweet baby Channing arrived a scary 9 weeks early and my whole world changed.
It’s my passion, curiosity, and desire to be engaged in meaningful human interaction that contributes to the ways I envision motherhood. Im a yellow, which means I etch fun into life and lead with a positive candor that is bound to diffuse when I am around; otherwise, you will likely smell the lavender lifting your mood.
But let’s get serious for just a moment, some of the traits I’m blessed with also make it beyond-challenging for me to work within structure. I am terrible at sitting still, I am distracted easily, and my attention span is about as long as a great commercial. As a young entrepreneur, my on-the-go attitude combined with my need for social interaction put community building at the forefront of my business plan and created a genius platform for the free word of the mouth marketing campaign that helped grow Thunderbolt Power Yoga.
Is anyone familiar with the urgent non-urgent importance matrix? Take a yellow who already has a difficult time remembering things and staying on task and give them a baby. Babies take place in the urgent and important category; and, I would argue only one thing can exist in this matrix at a time. For me, the motherhood instinct is primal and Channing’s entry into the world came with an unwritten disclaimer: this baby trumps business. Whatever was on my plate the day before Channing arrived was shoved into a new quadrant and I adjusted my life, my expectations, and my priorities. If you’d asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer would have included motherhood infused with my entrepreneurial spirit. While both are possible, one must take precedent; thus, the mommy guilt.
My mommy guilt is unlike the guilt you might imagine. It has less to do with sweet Channing and more to do with my first baby, my yoga baby. Before I became a mother, I had space to hang out at the studio chit-chatting with yogis, lunching with leaders, and making small talk at Hammond nails after a pranayama rich asana flow. The extras of entrepreneurship that sparked my creative juices were constantly flowing as I hopped from mastermind breakfasts, to lunches with friends, and afternoons spent reading and writing and engrossed in the type of content that sparked my spirit.
Life looks different now, I’ve chipped away from the non-urgent and said buh-bye to the non-important. I’ve never been better at saying no and I manage my time like a pro until Channing awakens from her nap: Oh shoot, has it already been 45 minutes? As I close packed classes in savasana a ping of mommy guilt overwhelms my heart and then I feel it - a let down is coming. It’s time to head home, breast pump in tow, to see our sweet peanut. Motherhood calls.
Lavender is often considered a must-have oil to keep on hand at all times due to its versatile uses, including calming and relaxing properties that promote peaceful sleep and ease feelings of tension.*** I use this bad boy on my wrists, temples, and in my diffuser to promote a more serene environment.